Heys darls . Last friday, i went to Siglap Sec to take my cert . My gfs tagged along too . The pix of us will be uploaded later on since i'm having my off . Yipees ! Labels: How i wish .
I don't know why .
Lately i watched this drama . A japanese one . So effing sad . Honest . The main character is having a disease which can't be cured and thus, she will die slowly . That's not important . The main thing is; she said that no matter how hard she tried to be optimistic and keep her family happy, she still have the thought that she's going to die . I mean . I'm not trying to say that i'm having a disease or what . Nope . Don't get me wrong . Is just that .
k . For u who thinks that u just know me, may stop reading this post . Seriously .
The part below is only for my darls who knew me for quite a long tyme . U noe who u gals are .
I don't know why .
I know its wrong for me to just throw hym away, out of my life . He's been a part of me since i was born . But as i'm growing up, he's not always there . Its lyke i can count the years he spent with me and my family . He's lyke mostly spend hys tyme and days in that place . I was young back days . I used to believe my mum's werds ' your dad is working overseas ' . I was too naive . Very . I knew the truth only when i was in Sec 1 . He was 'working overseas' thus my mum had to photocopy some documents to my new sec sch that stated hys whereabouts and why we couldn't get hys ic photostat and stuff . So one day, my teacher gave me back the envelopes that had the documents . I was curious of hys whereabouts so, i took out the documents . I was in the bus, otw home when i was reading it . I was actually shocked . Serious . I would never even think that he would be in that place . I know its wrong of me to state all this and show hys bad syde to euu darls . But i can't hold it . To whom shall i say this to . In my diaries, its all about hym . I mean its not that i can't trust my mum and other family members, but u noe what i mean . I don't have the heart to prolong this case about hym any further .
K back to the drama i was saying, no matter how hard i tried to keep my mum happy and free from any worries about hym, inside me . I still wonder how is he doing there . I wish to see hym and say hye . I don't want to be too late . God . I don't wish to lose hym . In my life, he's the one that i hated the most . Really . I never knew the meaning of hatred back days . I used to forgive and forget . Used to . No longer . That's me back days . I can forgive but never ever forget . I used to think i would hate hym till my last breath . But within these past 2 years, i think back and say whats the benefit of keeping the vengence in my heart when at the same point, its killing my heart and turn it into a black thing .
So, slowly i tried . Everytyme i met hym, i would make an effort to at least smile and asked hows he's doing . But evrytyme after the meetings, i would dream about the thing that he did which made me hate hym .
I can still remember . That morning i was getting ready to school, wearing my red cross uni . My other brothers too were getting ready to school . We were lyke rushing . Its always like that . I hate that feeling . If he never came back overnight, it means that he's been out drinking and would come back with a foul mood . Thus that morning, my mum told us to rush quickly . I really pitied her . In one hand, she's trying her best to protect us . In the other, she's .Idk . U just put in the words . We were very unfortunate as he reached home quite earlier than we expected . So, when he reached home, we were lyke scared . My heart was beating very very fast . Its lyke u don't know whats hys mood swings like . He acted very . Harsh . That's a nice way to describe hys actions . He don't allow us to go to school . When my mum rebut, he started throwing the flower vase outside the house . Due to hys act, we received a complain . Clever kan ?
Its lyke obviously the neighbours would complain about the noise he made . Its early in the morning arnd 6 am ? Who wouldn't get angry ? So, our ' frens ' came . Its been frequent . Its lyke i'm so ashamed to face them . So, after he talked thru wif our ' frens ' , he let us go . Can u imagine ? But he let us off with a warning that we would pay for our actions . I mean, its not us who called them . Haiz ~
Thus, my mum asked me to quickly rush as he might follow us . I was so scared that i hailed a cab and went to my gf's house . It was so embarrassing . But where else can i go ? My grndma's hse ? I don't want to worry her . Luckily my fren understand and came up with an excuse to her mum that i helped to carry her stuffs . Lyfe was always lyke dat . If he didn't come home overnight, we would wake up early in the morning and prayed that he didn't collide into us . Can u imagine a family that's scared of one another ? Home was not a place that i felt at peace . So, evrytyme after school, i would go to my grndma's hse to study and after my mum's finished werk, then i will mit her and go home 2gether . I would always avoid going home alone unless my brothers were already back home .
When he's by my side, i would have an uneasy feeling . The feeling of a mice towards a cat . Now when he's far away, i tend to miss hym . When i got to know from my youngr bro about hym and my mum separated, i was very elated . I think i'm the only daughter that's happy about her parent's divorce . I thought that my life was going to be peaceful and there will be no mre running away from hme early in the morning .
But when i went to an educational camp held by my school when i was in sec 4, one of the speaker asked students to raise hands if they have no parents or only one or divorced . I was actually reluctant . But i braced myself to raise my hand . Instantly, i knew my frens were shocked at that point of tyme . Till when can i lie from them ? Its of no use . Since young i heard about parents who get divorced but i never expected that my parents would be one of them . After that camp, i thought to myself that i would not let my mum suffer anymore . For the past years she had been in pain . Thus after separated from hym, i hope that she would led a normal lyfe . A new one . It was painful to see the tears coming out from my mum's eyes . Its more painful when u were in no position to help and just stare . I had been watching it secretly though my mum didn't noe till now that i saw . Her pleas, cries were too heartwrecking for me at that point . I would only lie on the bed and cried along with her . I also remember one tyme that i made her cried due to my silly action . I was otw home with my ex and forgot to call my mum . So, she was so worried that she asked my brother to wait for me at the void deck . With a happy face, i entered the house . Not knowing anythg, i smiled at her . Her eyes were all red . She told me that she was worried that i would be in danger or did anything silly with my ex . I was the eldest and i couldn't show bad e.gs to my ynger bros . She also said that i was lucky enuf that my dad haven't reach home or else i would be dead . I was so touched but i couldn't help feeling guilty for making her cry . Since that day, i went back hme straight . My ex did get bored but i couldn't explain to hym the reason of why im doing this .
Its 3 am already . I'm still thinking of hym . What's he doing . Is he ok there ? Did he get into any trouble ? How i wish that i can just go and meet hym now . Apologize to hym for all those rude werds that i've said to hym . As days past, i always pray that God make me healthy and be able to see hym in the future . I don't wish to lose hym . Gosh . My mum is sleeping beside me . If she just know that i cry to slip thinking about her and hym, she would be worry right ? I shouldn't do this . I should be strong . For me and for my mum . I should let go of the past .
So sorry for making u darls to read this such lengthy post . So emo ar feezah . hahahahh . Some of u might be thinking why is feezah writing this ? To gain sympathy ? Nope . Not at all . I just want to share my inner feelings to euu darls . Especially to my gfs be it in 4e1, 4e2 or 4e3 . I love euu girls equally . I know that we seldom meet thus that's why i post it in my blog . Hope euu darls treat me the same way as before . Just treat this as a regular post with just emo werds . Hehehehhehe . See, i'm smiling oready . So, u should also smile . Kay kay ? I think off for now . Need to bunk in . Eyes are too tired already . Mawns peeps .
OhMieee ! ! Now my 2 lovely managers knew about hym . Darn . Luckily i never type out the names of the guys that me & Jannah had a crush on . If i had, I would be walking wif embarrassmeant ryte now . Haiz . Feezah2 . Y r u so careless ? N to my dear managers, its not hym that i have a crush on . No worries kay ? He's just a fren . Thanx for ur concern . I really appreciate it . Serious . But me & hym . Nope . It was all in the past . I mean he liking me . But now, no longer . Euu darls might be blur right now . Im soo sorrie . Its just dat i had to clarify it before my 2 lovely managers think out of the box and make me embarrass in front of dat guy . Nope . I can't imagine it . Not even in my nightmares . Sheeshhh ~ Labels: It's revealed .
Just now, i felt ultimately lazy to the MAX to go to work . I mean i've not enter my werkplace for 5 days . So, it was awkward for me at first . Jannah was so lucky to go to Kiosk . Sheeshhh . But i guess im better off at Main Store . Kiosk is too small and relaxing . Don't get it wrong . It's just that i can't be in a place lyke dat after several days of relaxing at hme . hahhahahahh . Oh yea . Read about Norfa and her husband . I do pity her . I've seen several spammers, i mean don't they have their own job to do . Tsk tsk . What i can do is pray for myself that my lovely tagboard won't be spam by harshful words . Amin .
kay lar darls . nId to go bunk in . Sok morning i nid to wake up early . Have to collect my testimonial at my alma mater - Siglap sec . And Jannah said that she missed the food from the school canteen . So i guess i'll be having my breakfast there . teehee =)
So, nytes2 and swit dreams earthlings . Do dream about me kay kay ? hahhaha . No lar . Joking2 oni . It's lyke as if u can choose ur own dreams gytu . Lol .
Assalamualaikum .
Boooooo my earthling ~
Hmmm . Heard about this earth project thingy going on this Sat ? I wish i can play a part too but i'm werking my ass off the whole night . My manager is asking me & Jannah to werk till 2 am . How ? I'll ask ibu's permission first . Oh yea . I don't think i'll post about my aunt's birfdae . Too long . Oh yea . Let's post about my werk at airport kies ?
Dhaval didn't come and was exchanged with Kelvin . So, got to know the store actually had crews outing so that means the peeps who werking there from 2.30 till 11 pm are all attachment from other stores - excluded 3 ladies who were Mysians . There were 2 counters that were opened - one counter by an aunty from bedok inter while another one was run by Kelvin . I was hys runner basically . Then, there were this aunty from Elias Mall Mcdy, which was near to my alma mater . Small werld . She's so funny . To the Max . And i never wonder that working there was very borng . Very . Its lyke the customers came bit by bit . Evryone was so sleepy . Tsk tsk . So, to stay awake, we practicaly chitchat like nobody's business . The atmosphere was exactly lyke u step into a library - the reference section .
So, i was lucky enuf coz i was the only one there that went back at 10 pm . Hahahha . U should see my colleges faces . So sad . I pity them but i still nid to go back . Sorry darls .
Last Tuesday i went to NP wif Ibu to pay my fees for the Foreign Language thingyy . Was a bit sad coz the class for Mandarin had closed . So reluctantly, had to choose Korean . Chey . Reluctant kepe . hahahah . Happpyyy sey . Over the moon, to b precise . But dowan to show it to Ibu . Phm2 je .
Later nid to go to werk . Mlz ~
Wish evryday some kind soul wud transfer money into my bank account . Chey ! Hahahhaha . In my dreams . k la . Before i continue on this crapness, i'll stop here .
Till den, bubbyessss .
Assalamualaikum .
Feezah - Saya pula Sifar 9 .
Someone ! Please stop her ! Or is it too late ?
Look at her ! Smiling with satisfaction . Tsk tsk .
Here's the proof ! A clean, nice 5 bucks given to Feezah for cutting Aini's hair .
Taddaaaa . Finish . Soo short eh ? This is our first short clip . Do give commens yea . Below are some random snaps . Just don't mind the 'step-pretty' face .
Labels: IniZah .
Wellloes earthlings . Labels: Sinetrons .
As i had typed out last week, i intend to post up all those pix for today . So, since i'm quite lazy, i might as well continue on with the plan .
Oh yea .
Some of u might be thinking why am i changing my skin again . Urm . Let's just say i've came across some of peeps' blogs that have the same skin as mine . So, to avoid being copycat and stuffs, i changed it . Tiresome . I wonder how does Fathin cope with it . Tsk tsk . I salute euu babe .
The song that i've chosen to share with euu darls is by ST 12 : Saat Terakhir . I think this song is so outdated but i guess i'm addicted to it due to this sinetron * indon drama serials* NIKITA at RCTI . The story line is soo sad plus the lead actor is ... Cute . Don't wish to elaborate in case some of euu darls might not like it . Also, besides NIKITA, i am also heavily addicted to MELATI UNTUK MARVEL & CINTA FITRI season 3 . Haiz . These drama's are making my eyes glued to the TV .
As for Korean & Taiwanese dramas, its weekly so it took a lot of patience to watch another episode as compared to the Sinetron, which is daily . Heheheehe .
Tomorow is going to be very an interesting day for me . I'm going to work at Mcdy at airport terminal 2 . Alone ! I mean . Not really alone, sheeshh . Jannah is not going to work tomorow *sobsob* . Will miss you . She has her own reasons . Don't wish to explain it here . Too personal . But luckily Khairul and Dhaval are coming too . Phew ! At least there's people i know .
I guess by now u darls might be thinking when is Feezah going to put up the pix . Hehehehhe . I'm testing your patience . Sorieee . Is this post long oready ? Shud i put up the pix in a new post ? Hmmmm . . . Kay den . I will . There will be pix of my aunty birfday held at my hse - 070309 and pix of me and aini . See u on the next post . Toodles . Assalamualaikum ( Muslim readers )
P.S I SERVED DIDICAZLI A MEDIUM LATTE ! !
hahahhahah . U may call me fanatic but i've been a fan of didicazli since his first song - Dambaan . Didn't know Jannah is also a fan of hym . Teehee . Got a member here . A fren of me & Jannah at Mcdy knew about Jannah like this guy . Only like . I don't know whether she still like or not coz she told me about hym few months back . Sheeshh . Me too lar . Not to put the blame on Jannah alone, i admit that i too have a crush towards this guy at my werkplace . Only LIKE ok ! Not more than that . Jannah might be smiling to herself ryte now . See Jannah . I post about eur's and mine's k . Fair . kay lar . mwahhhhhh .
Hye peeps . Today is a special day to one of my Gf - SYAFA'ATON . Tanjoubi omedetou ( 誕生日おめでとう ) - Happy birfday . HAPPY BIRFDAY TO U . HAPPY BIRFDAY TO U . HAPPY BIRFDAY TO SYAFA . HAPPY BIRFDAY TO EUUUUUUUUUU . Okies . Now euu may blow the candles . Previously i did said about im gonna tell u about someone kan ? kan ? hahahahha . kay lar . i giv euu the commercial poster about it . Hold on kay . ......................................................................................................................................................................... Anxious enuf ? ......................................................................................................................................................................... teeheee . da lar . dowan to torture euu darls oready . TADAA ! ! I noe euu mite be blur rite now . hahahah . actually aini told me to post this story . Next post i tell euu . Its all pix . So next post is gonna be a few werds and tonnes of pix of me and her . So if somethere, out there, someone is interested, do kip coming to my blog kay ? tank euuuuu so much . hehehe . its self promoting, abit onie . kay lar . Tomorow is gonna be hectic for me coz morning nid to go to NP to collect a new form and in the eve, nid to go to Sof's hse . So, wif dat . Bubbyesss . MWWWAAAHHHHH . And aini, tank euu for being able to accompany me to NP tomorow . C ya 2morow babe . I wonder why my heart keeps beating faster and faster upon ur presence . Labels: Blow .
Dah ? hehehehehe . For euu who might not noe her, i'll insert her pix . Dats her on the left .
WELLOES ! 3ird is my cute fren , NURUL AIN . I had known her since sec 1, like Fathin oso . We r lyke from the same class every year lar sey . Cool kan ? hahhaha . Still remember the part when we r told that we cannt enter 3e3 . So sad sey . Evryone in 2e1 - mostly our gfs dpt masok . Excluding me and ayeen . So, me and her was like ' wadeva it is, we still in the same class . Have each other . ' hahahah . Those tymes . So the J type . Though during sec 3 and sec 4, there's a trouble in communicating with one another, we still made up . Oh yea . At one point of tyme, i envied her handwriting thats bubblish and fattish, i said to myself ' I MUST COPY HER HANDWRITING' . . true enuf . I was able to . But ! ! ! My english teacher, Dear Mrs Rajan complained that she cant read my handwriting . Reluctantly, i had to change my handwriting to another one . But its for my own good . tanx cher ! HAPPY 17 TH B - LATED BIRFDAY, CUTIE . She's on the right side . Soriiees for de blur pix but this is best out the best . Ignore the left part =) Kay earthlings . That's for now . Oh yea . Do kip coming to my blog coz the next post is gonna be about someone . Just someone . Not a guy , no worriesss . Nytes . MWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHssss . Is it the right tyme ? Labels: B-day Wishes .
Peeps mite say im outdated .
Sorrieeee .
Was tired and stuffsss .
Let's continue with our b-lated birfday wishes aite ?
First up is NUR FATHIN IZZATHI .
She's a fren of mine since 4 yrs back . We've grown closer during sec 1 - projects thingy and from that onwards. we bcame CLOSE buddies . She has a good taste in fashion and in music . I must say that i started to listen to english music because of her influence - good one kay . hahahah . Oh yea . She loves to POUT . teeheee . And i tried to copy her way of posing wif a pout lips before . Dozens . But still cannot . I must say that she really has grown up mentally and physically - slimmer u noe - within those past 4 years . Eventhough she may seems funny and smile most of the tyme, she is a human too . She cried but in her tiny heart . But when she finally let it all out, it was very heartbroken for me to see as she's good in hiding her feelings . Oh yea . Speaking of feelings . Lets disturb her abit . Abit onie . She used to like dis guy - our senior . hahahahah . Only some of the galfrens noe about hym . We called hym what eh fathin ? hmmmm . *yumsyumsICECREAMyumsyums* OMG . Fathin is so gonna blush till her pinky red cheeks can be seen . Its so obvious i tell u . Cute kan ? hahaha . Like use blusher . Enough talking . Lets wish .
Babe, may euu succeed in ur upcoming events, studies and life . I noe that the future holds a lot of obstacles . May it be emotional or whatsoever . hehhehe . Just be strong but don't hide ur feelings kay ? Let it out if there's a need to . Show peeps what ur made of . Don't let people take advantage of euu . Euu may seems happy all the tyme . But we r still humans, not robots . So, last of all, i pray for ur happiness and success and health . Oh yea . N romance . hahhahahaha . Find yang cute2 ones kay ?
HAPPY 17 TH B - LATED BIRFDAY, BABE .
For euu who might not noe who's Fathin, she's in the left hand side of the pix . The right hand side is . hahahha . entah . donnoe wich gal .
Next is Liyana . She goes by the name of LEEYAN . Outgoing, witty, love to laff ( i really mean it ) and a smile is always on her face . I knew her since sec 3 which is 2 yrs bck . Eventhough we r not from de same class, we still do exchanged smiles as we shared the same passion . Music . We r from the same cca which bonded us together . Oh yea . Speaking of dat, i wish to thank Leeyan, Shar, Rau2 and Fathin for helping to get thru the choir audition . It was nerve-wrecking lar sey . K back . Sorrie leeyan . hahahahah . Now the spotlight is back at euu .
Leeyan babe , though we just noe each other , we had shared tons of secrets . basically on our personal relationships wif another human being called Boy . hahahaha . Last row at the back of the class was fun . We always chatttttt , ate - during class u noe , and othere stuffs . It was fun knowing euu . Honestly . Eventhough there's been ups and downs in class, we still chat as per normal . Thank euu . Oh yea . Forgot to tell euu guys . Leeyan is AN AWESOME ARTIST . I hope she will continue polishing her skills in her school - LaSelle . Good luck .
HAPPY 17 TH B - LATED BIRFDAY, DARL .
Leeyan is standing on the left hand side of the pix . Again that gal on the right hand side . tsktsk .
Yeen, i noe that we might lead our own separate paths from now on . But do kip in touch aite ? Sesibuk cmner pon, i'll try to at least catch up wif euu . Kay babe ?
Labels: CLV
Heyyyyaaaaaaa . Kay . Today's post is gonna be about the C'est La Vie '09 concert held by my X-sch = Siglap Sec . Yeah . Pix were taken . Tonnnsss . So, hope euu darls enjoy . Bubbyeessss . Oh yea . Wanna sae dat if i did not take pix wif u on CLV, im so sorry . I love euu guys - my galfrens - no matter what .
Can I be Ur Dancing Queen ?
one .
two .
three .
~ Hates ~One .
Two but not least .
~ a Wish ~ShadYs .