Thursday, January 22, 2009
Missing euu . .
Its not who euu think kays ? hahahah .
Its bout my dad . I think i shud spill some of it today .
My dad is somewhere safe and sound .
Yet it is a HELL to the residents there .
Its true .
Its a place where euu reflect back euur 'good actions' and realise it .
Its also a place where scares the goooseebumps out of euu .
I think some of euu might get the clue .
But i won't tell .
Sorie .
Lips are sealed .
If not sparing my mum, i would have type it all out by now .
Whhhhuuuuuuuu .
Its hard for me .
Sometymes i try very hard 'extremely' to not think of hym .
But i couldn't .
He's my dad .
My only dad in this werld and in the afterlife .
Its true .
I can't deny the fact .
Eventhough he did mistakes, i would - with all my hart - forgive hym .
Some peeps might think y am i so stupid and naive to forgive my dad so easily ?
Idk .
I mean .
Euu try putting urself in my shoes .
Try standing in the 'middle of an event .
Where evrybody has a dad and euu do not have .
Don't euu feel envy ?
A slightest bit ?
Don't euu feel sad and down when evryone's dads praise them when they score gud marks for results ?
Don't euu feel left out ?
I mean eventhough ur mum is there to give support, euu still feel the empty space .
Its lyke a chair in the middle of ur school hall .
Or maybe a room - for those who r not skuling .
The feeling inside me is trying to crawl out .
Seeking for . .
Idk .
Its just that .
Nvm .
I'm still surprised y i did not cry upon hearing the news from ibu .
Maybe at dat tyme, im trying to act tuff .
Mybe i shud just wake ibu up from her slip in the mid of the nite and cry in her shoulders .
yeah .
But i didnt do that .
I don't want ibu to be crushed any further .
i don't mind bottling up these feelings for the future 7-8 yrs .
If that makes ibu happy .
All i nid from ibu is to see a sincere smile that has twinkles in her eyes and not tears of sadness .
Never ever .
Its bout my dad . I think i shud spill some of it today .
My dad is somewhere safe and sound .
Yet it is a HELL to the residents there .
Its true .
Its a place where euu reflect back euur 'good actions' and realise it .
Its also a place where scares the goooseebumps out of euu .
I think some of euu might get the clue .
But i won't tell .
Sorie .
Lips are sealed .
If not sparing my mum, i would have type it all out by now .
Whhhhuuuuuuuu .
Its hard for me .
Sometymes i try very hard 'extremely' to not think of hym .
But i couldn't .
He's my dad .
My only dad in this werld and in the afterlife .
Its true .
I can't deny the fact .
Eventhough he did mistakes, i would - with all my hart - forgive hym .
Some peeps might think y am i so stupid and naive to forgive my dad so easily ?
Idk .
I mean .
Euu try putting urself in my shoes .
Try standing in the 'middle of an event .
Where evrybody has a dad and euu do not have .
Don't euu feel envy ?
A slightest bit ?
Don't euu feel sad and down when evryone's dads praise them when they score gud marks for results ?
Don't euu feel left out ?
I mean eventhough ur mum is there to give support, euu still feel the empty space .
Its lyke a chair in the middle of ur school hall .
Or maybe a room - for those who r not skuling .
The feeling inside me is trying to crawl out .
Seeking for . .
Idk .
Its just that .
Nvm .
I'm still surprised y i did not cry upon hearing the news from ibu .
Maybe at dat tyme, im trying to act tuff .
Mybe i shud just wake ibu up from her slip in the mid of the nite and cry in her shoulders .
yeah .
But i didnt do that .
I don't want ibu to be crushed any further .
i don't mind bottling up these feelings for the future 7-8 yrs .
If that makes ibu happy .
All i nid from ibu is to see a sincere smile that has twinkles in her eyes and not tears of sadness .
Never ever .
Labels: Bottling up .
